Friday, May 8, 2015

Panic Problems update

Later that day, May 6th, that I wrote about his panic problems he had an even worse day. He had a very bad day with the animals to the point where he said to me very seriously, "I almost shot her" (speaking about our cow, Daisy). The animals were not responding to him in their usual way and Daisy even jerked away from him and hurt him which she is always very careful NOT to do. She ran from him this way and that way and made him chase her and have to try to outsmart her. He eventually did of course but that was all the energy he had and since he hadn't eaten lunch yet he then collapsed on our front lawn. He simply couldn't move for lack of fuel. He eventually got his body to the house and the couch. He had panic episodes the entire rest of the afternoon. 

The next day he took it easy. He knew he didn't have any strength in him to do anything. His caretaker was here and she monitored him. He was off balance, easily annoyed, and grouchy throughout the day. At dinner he mentioned that his happiness was gone. He said that he just goes through the motions and that he lost his spark for living; he plunders around all day doing chores but the zest for life just isn't there. He's worried about himself. 

Today was May 8th. He was uneasy, agitated, and grouchy all day. He made little eye contact, spoke hardly at all, escaped being in a room with more than 1 person whenever possible...very avoidant today. Then out of nowhere has a request of me that is not typical for him at all. I'm starting to see a lot of parallels between him the past couple days and the 5 year anniversary of him coming home. This anniversary is most sad for me because I remember clearly how it played out and how confused I was.

Let's hope tomorrow brings a new energy to him.

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