So now he was at Ft Lewis. I couldn't be there with him, so it was him against the stupidity. Since he arrived there in a private vehicle by some out of the ordinary orders, they didn't know what to do with him. They had him staying in a visitor trailer and had him reporting to doctor's appointments, but nobody really had a plan for him. All Dean could think about is getting back to his unit! He couldn't sleep, he couldn't stop thinking about the danger his unit was in and that he wasn't there to help them. He was so afraid that someone would get hurt or killed and then he would feel responsible for it. After a few weeks he found a Special Forces doctor who told Dean that if he could perform these physical tests, that he would sign Dean's papers to go back to Afghanistan. Dean completed said tests through the pain he felt. He got his wish and was sent back.
Upon arrival back in country and back to his unit, his Captain told him he had to be cleared medically before he would send him out on missions. This time they x-rayed Dean's arm and his elbow was still badly broken. His Captain flipped his lid and wondered how the hell Dean got cleared to be there???? He told Dean he was going back home! And the process to have Dean medevac'd out began.
This time Dean was flown to Landstuhl, Germany and was evaluated there. They told him he would need surgery on his arm. They gave him a TBI test and notes were made for Ft Lewis to further watch this. From Landstuhl he was flown to Ft Lewis. This time when he arrived there, they knew what to do with him. They housed him with wounded warriors and got him in their "process" of supposedely helping them. It's the end of August 2010 by this time and Dean knows that there is nothing he can do to be sent back with his unit. So he begins to realize that he's done fighting.
Depression starts to set in which comes out in anger mostly and he sleeps a lot. After a couple weeks there, he starts to earn weekend passes which means I drive up there on Friday, we drive home Friday night (3 1/2 hour drive each way) he gets to be home Saturday and on Sunday we drive back up there. During the months of September through the end of October we got to spend most weekends doing this travel routine and this entire time I hadn't really noticed anything different about Dean. During that two week R & R we spent together back in May I hadn't noticed anything different about Dean either. I mean, ya he was distant, easily angered, not really "here", and slept a lot! but I attributed all that to him trying to reacclimate back to the States??? I didn't know anything. When I asked him about Afghanistan he made sure I knew that that subject was OFF LIMITS! When we drove in the car he always felt like he was going to throw up (which was very unlike him). Again I just assumed all part of reacclimating? During these weekends together we didn't hardly talk. On the trip home Friday he complained about how horrible Ft Lewis was, how they had him running all over the place and he couldn't understand why. He was angry because he believed they were "out to get him" and trying to throw their weight around by confusing him and making him look stupid. He would tell me about their nice, clean, neatly pressed uniforms and how they didn't know shit because they've never been in country. He hated it there and he hated how they made him feel there! Saturdays were reserved for him sleeping. He said he couldn't sleep well at Ft Lewis and at least he was a little more comfortable in his own bed so he was trying to make up for lost sleep on Saturday. Sunday was spent packing up, explaining to little Dean that we had to take daddy back the the Army Base and console his poor little feelings....and we would talk about how Dean was going to hate being back up there. He began to cling to me as his salvation from that hell.
It wasn't until he returned home for good right before Halloween in 2010 that I knew there was something terribly wrong!